Friday, January 20, 2012

Falling into the unknown

While reading Trust the Process I am also working on a presentation for our local camera club, to be entitled "What if? Artful Adventures of an Inquisitive Photographer."  And, of course, given my annual mid-winter malaise, I am struggling to do any sort of art at all.

So I was encouraged to read this morning (how many different ways and times does this need to be said before I will hear it?) that perhaps instead of starting the creative process with a particular goal in mind, I need to express what I'm feeling, go with the flow and see where it takes me. 

This is relatively new territory for a photographer: so much of what we do is already in place; we simply have to find a way to capture what we see.  But to approach my work in this way is more equivalent to an artist approaching a blank canvas or a writer approaching a blank page. 

As a writer, I have learned to trust the process implicitly, but as an artist I really struggle -- quite possibly as an inadvertent result of having a critical artist mother -- with fear of failure.  But today I decided (despite constant intrusions from various family members dealing with car/weather/grocery/travel issues) to just start with what appealed, paint from image to image, and see where it might take me.

The end result is a combination of 6 different images in colors considerably more saturated than I generally prefer to work with.  But there's a tenderness here that tells me not to worry; that I am supported and loved as I struggle through to whatever new artistic endeavors may emerge -- or at least, that's how I'm seeing this.

So now I think I need to go back to that presentation I'm working on and somehow add this understanding to it: that there will inevitably be dark periods and struggles and failures, but that, as McNiff says in Trust the Process, "When I enact my angst and fears in an artwork, they become my partners in creation, and my relationship to them is transformed... By falling into the unknown, we can arrive at a new place in our life and work....Falling becomes a release, an immersion in the process of life.  Trusting the process brings a realization that miscues, mistakes, and failures make important contributions to the creative process."

1 comment:

Megan said...

"Trusting the process brings a realization that miscues, mistakes, and failures make important contributions to the creative process."
The way I look at this particular dilemna is that the end result is what is important, not how I arrived there. Yes the image is already there to capture on a digital card, but how I present it to others is all mine. And like you, I have to think it to death because the first step for me is always the hardest; once I get going I'm ok, even when obstacles present themselves as they invariably do. I either don't have the skills or the camera I am using doesn't have the zoom; its the process of trusting that the hows and whys will eventually match what my eyes see. And I've found that when an obstacle presents itself, even when I am not actively working on whatever the project is; my mind continues to work out the problem. And allowing myself the space to create in this manner also teaches me new skills, gives me new ideas and allows all the voices inside to have a hand in the process of creation.
I thank you for this post today as it gives succor, as this lesson can be applied to all walks of life.